I mean, why beat around the bush? Rowena definitely had a better read on the situation than I did back then.
[Rowena definitely could see underneath all of Dean's posturing with relative ease, perhaps even more thoroughly than even Sam could, which is saying a lot.
He grins, just enjoying being with Cas, especially when he smirks up at him like that. Naturally, the moment is interrupted, this time by their dog apparently chewing on a demon arm.
Dean reluctantly parts from Cas and moves to Miracle, trying to cajole him into dropping the nastiest arm Dean's ever seen.]
Hey, boy! Maybe let's find a good old-fashioned stick to chew instead, yeah?
Yeah, well. That's because I'm a dumbass. And I was letting my anger control me. I should never have blamed you for her death, or make you think I blamed you for her death. That's on me.
[Dean's anger is probably the core of what he needs to talk to someone about the most, a culmination of all of his years of endless and unspoken trauma, piled on top of each other like some kind of mountain. He's never looked too closely at the source of all of his anger and resentment, terrified of what he'll find there. (He doesn't know that he could take facing his true feelings about John Winchester, in all honesty.)
At Cas' remark about Miracle sharing Dean's taste, Dean throws his head back and laughs. Miracle finds some sort of stick that is very much distinctly not a demon's severed arm to chew on.]
Yeah, he really does, doesn't he? Questionable dog takes after his questionable dog parent.
[He shakes his head, still smiling, as he glances over at Cas.]
I accepted your apology, Dean, and your prolonged hug in Purgatory.
( We're okay, he keeps back.
Dean's anger worries him the most of everything, but it feels like he's either gotten a handle on it or pushed it way down. And maybe he's a big part of that.
[Dean cracks a joke and a grin to break some of the heaviness of the conversation. He's starting to get better at recognizing the signs for when he's about to become overwhelmed, and that is entirely on Cas and his good influence on Dean. Ever since Cas declared his love and sacrificed himself for Dean, Dean's tried to take his words to heart. He doesn't always succeed, and it's a struggle he'll likely carry with him his whole life (and afterlife, at this rate).
His own anger terrifies him. He likes to think he has a better handle on it now, and, internally, he's making notes to research meditation and calming techniques when he's next in the library. One technique he's discovered that's proven helpful to him is reading tarot cards, strangely enough. Very strangely, considering he's Dean Winchester. But taking out the cards, reading them, and arranging them is soothing for him in ways he can't quite explain; he's kept himself from going over the ledge and into a panic attack with them, so he's going to keep that particular hobby close to his chest.
He grins at Cas when he says he wouldn't have it any other way.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
( Out loud. Proud and accepted.
After the kiss and the forehead touch, he smirks, looking up at his human, his guy holding a leash just taut enough that Miracle can pick at - wait. )
Should he be gnawing on a part of that arm?
( Demonic in nature, but still an arm. )
no subject
[Rowena definitely could see underneath all of Dean's posturing with relative ease, perhaps even more thoroughly than even Sam could, which is saying a lot.
He grins, just enjoying being with Cas, especially when he smirks up at him like that. Naturally, the moment is interrupted, this time by their dog apparently chewing on a demon arm.
Dean reluctantly parts from Cas and moves to Miracle, trying to cajole him into dropping the nastiest arm Dean's ever seen.]
Hey, boy! Maybe let's find a good old-fashioned stick to chew instead, yeah?
no subject
( Changing the plan around.
Miracle lets it go easily, always good with what Dean wants. )
He has your taste.
( 🙃 )
no subject
[Dean's anger is probably the core of what he needs to talk to someone about the most, a culmination of all of his years of endless and unspoken trauma, piled on top of each other like some kind of mountain. He's never looked too closely at the source of all of his anger and resentment, terrified of what he'll find there. (He doesn't know that he could take facing his true feelings about John Winchester, in all honesty.)
At Cas' remark about Miracle sharing Dean's taste, Dean throws his head back and laughs. Miracle finds some sort of stick that is very much distinctly not a demon's severed arm to chew on.]
Yeah, he really does, doesn't he? Questionable dog takes after his questionable dog parent.
[He shakes his head, still smiling, as he glances over at Cas.]
He's as much your dog now too as he is mine.
no subject
( We're okay, he keeps back.
Dean's anger worries him the most of everything, but it feels like he's either gotten a handle on it or pushed it way down. And maybe he's a big part of that.
The dog. The house. Maybe not in Hell... )
I wouldn't have it any other way.
no subject
[Dean cracks a joke and a grin to break some of the heaviness of the conversation. He's starting to get better at recognizing the signs for when he's about to become overwhelmed, and that is entirely on Cas and his good influence on Dean. Ever since Cas declared his love and sacrificed himself for Dean, Dean's tried to take his words to heart. He doesn't always succeed, and it's a struggle he'll likely carry with him his whole life (and afterlife, at this rate).
His own anger terrifies him. He likes to think he has a better handle on it now, and, internally, he's making notes to research meditation and calming techniques when he's next in the library. One technique he's discovered that's proven helpful to him is reading tarot cards, strangely enough. Very strangely, considering he's Dean Winchester. But taking out the cards, reading them, and arranging them is soothing for him in ways he can't quite explain; he's kept himself from going over the ledge and into a panic attack with them, so he's going to keep that particular hobby close to his chest.
He grins at Cas when he says he wouldn't have it any other way.]
Me either.
no subject
( It's so sappy. But, it's so true. )
Come on. Let's take Miracle back. Start the day.
no subject
[It's definitely sappy as hell but, if anything, Hell has taught him to better appreciate the soft, quiet moments, especially with Cas.]
Sounds like a plan to me. I think I still have some coffee from before Barbas' cronies started hording everything, if you feel up for some?